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motherhood
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A day in the life: questions from a 4-year-old
Layla’s been home with me while I worked for a solid 6 months this year due to the pandemic. I’m sure I will look back on this time fondly, but to be honest, it’s been exhausting! While she’s generally a bubbly, funny, sweet little girl, her curiosity and questions have narrowed my vocabulary basically to…
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It’s been awhile…
…Since I wrote about my daughters. This blog started out as a pregnancy blog with Skyler way back in 2007. It made the obvious transition to mom blog but I eventually got out of habit of updating it. Life got busy and crazy and then Layla came along and I just quit writing about this…
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Anxiety attack
Once it had subsided I tried to explain it But the words made no sense Failure Drowning Tightness Suffocating Tears Heavy Frozen “What triggered it?” I don’t know. Maybe that thing… But that doesn’t seem enough Maybe everything… But then I am ungrateful I have a good life And should not feel this way. The…
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Next
Remember remember remember. There’s that you keep forgetting There’s this you keep procrastinating And that other thing Why haven’t you taken care of that yet? And a hundred other things Some trivial and some more important Waiting in that long line that continues all the way around the corner One in One out Too many…
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Presence
I miss you when I am away Your laugh Your smell Your touch The Golden hazy image of your smile and curls warm my soul I dream of our next moments together Envisioning the wild perfection that you are And then you are next to me The buzz of your breath and voice and body…
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The power of hand soap
A few weeks ago I got a company-wide email inviting me to volunteer across the street at Children’s Mercy for a Mother’s Day card signing campaign for “Mercy Moms” – whose children are patients at the hospital. I immediately blocked my calendar hoping I could make it. When I got to the office today and…
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Reasons I suck as a mom lately
The other night I got home and was having a pleasant conversation with Ronnie while he was preparing dinner and Skyler interjected “Yay! You’re in a good mood!” and I immediately felt embarrassed and ashamed that it was such a rarity lately that she was excited enough to call it out. To hammer the nail…
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Spring fever
It’s Saturday night and I’m already feeling a mixture of cabin fever, exhaustion, and just plain irritability about everything in sight. I’ve worked from home too many times to count this year with both girls (and sometimes Ronnie) stuck at home with me due to sicknesses and weather. As grateful as I am that’s it’s…
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Leftovers
I just finally stopped sweating from a sunset jog/walk around the lake, and now I can’t sleep. This is the problem with working out at night, is it generally gives me a second wind, but maybe I should embrace this so I can also do things like write on this blog or clean up the…
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28 Days Later
Four weeks ago, we welcomed Layla into this world. It was painful, scary, wonderful, and she blessed us with her first breaths immediately. She still resides at Children’s Mercy Hospital where we spend our days with her. We’ve had so many ups and downs during her stay here – I wanted to document the experience…