I am in no hurry to have another child. Nothing about pregnancy excites me, even though I had an easy one with Skyler. And Ronnie works such long hours, that I can’t imagine looking after two kids every morning and evening, especially in the current phase Skyler is in.
And then there are nights like last night and days like today, that I’m pretty sure that I have no desire to have another child. Ever.
Last night I picked Skyler up from daycare, where she cried when we left, as usual, screaming the most dramatically broken-hearted “byyyyye-byyyyyyyye” after her teacher and the other kids, who she asks for by name on the hour when we’re at home. She loves going there, and hates when I make her leave. Our evenings have begun oh-so-pleasantly like this for quite some time now.
But when we got home and I picked her up out of her carseat (she had fallen asleep), she stiffened and cried out in pain. I was caught off guard but thought – diaper rash, maybe? But the evening got worse – she didn’t want to walk around or do anything but lay on me or Ronnie, and screamed in pain anytime we picked her up under her arms. I felt around all her joints, pressing and bending them, but nothing seemed out of place or caused her to react. We finally re-treated some moderate diaper rash and she calmed down and went to bed easily.
Though she slept very soundly last night and woke up in smiles, she winced in pain again when trying to stand up in her crib, and screamed when I picked her up out of it.
So enough was enough – we headed to Children’s Mercy ER. This was just too weird. After a long morning of poking and prodding and even one resident that had the nerve to say “I don’t know if we’ll ever get to the bottom of this,” they finally did some X-Rays and found she had a fractured collar bone! They said it happens with little kids a lot and could just have been from that fall in the backyard. She now has a sling that’s entirely too big for her and doesn’t really hold anything secure, and is on Motrin to manage the pain.
We got home and she was running around the house, playing and using both arms as usual. I just don’t get it? Last night she wouldn’t even walk.
So while it was nothing serious, I just don’t know if I can take more of sick/injured kids and trips to Childrens Mercy. I think I wore out my welcome there last year, and I just can hardly handle going back! Today I could hear the familiar tone of heart/blood pressure monitors’ warning beeps in a room down the hall, and it brought me weird chills of memory. I just hate this kind of stress!
So while I can’t predict that Skyler’s future will be sickness/injury-free from here on out (not likely for any child), I can predict that right now, I can’t imagine choosing to have another bundle of joy to add to this crazy life. I know with the hard times come so many more happy times, but right now, I really think our happy times with Skyler are enough! This mama can’t handle any more stress!