It occurs to me daily, how lucky I am. I was given a gift I never asked for, and yet it was the best gift I ever received. My life has been forever changed, and although the depth of joy is astounding, there is a sharp pain that accompanies it. Skyler’s smiles and laughs bring about the most delightful, most fulfilling sensation to me, and yet those same smiles and laughs remind me how much I stand to lose. I have felt this since the day she was born, and then one hundred times more intensely since she got sick. But no matter what our future holds with Skyler, every single moment of it is all I could ask for, and so much for which to be thankful.
One of my favorite bloggers described the sensation of motherhood so accurately and creatively in her recent post. Speaking of children, she says “We hold them high and march through the days, bearing that which we love beyond all measure. My arms tremble…I am so much more capable than I have ever been. I am weak and filled with shortcomings. I am a flexing muscle, aching under an indescribable, joyous weight.”