Idiots only

It was a scorching 97 degrees today, and the sweaty-headed Miss Skyler and I walked in the door after work today, only to find the inside of the house at a stuffy 83 degrees. I guess it’s that time of year again when our air conditioner decides to go on it’s own vacation! I don’t know if it just runs out of steam on days like this, but it just doesn’t get the job done! I stripped Skyler down to her diaper and I threw on a tank top and shorts, the dry-fit athletic kind, and we did our best not to be miserable.

Ronnie finally got her high chair down from the attic, so I set some toys in front of her and attempted to assemble the dang thing. Apparently Skyler does not take the heat so well because she just whined and whimpered, so I got some cold yogurt out, fed her, and then put her in her bed, which lucky for her is the coolest room in the house. I think she realized it, because she quieted down and went to sleep.

Nice, now I would have uninterrupted focus on this highchair. I was amazed at how many pieces it actually came in, and all the screws in the little package. I was slightly concerned, but when I got the seatbase, legs, foot rest and wheels all attached in about ten minutes, my confidence soared.

And then came the reclining backrest. It appears to be a handy little contraption, and the way it attaches is ingenious. And by ingenious I mean IMPOSSIBLE! The directions are very clear and I can tell what they want me to do, but there is no possible way to make this happen in the intended manner, unless maybe I had an extra three hands! After a good eight attempts (sweat is pouring down my chest and pools are gathering beneath my eyes), I decide that surely this must have been a problem for everyone else who owns this highchair, so I look online for reviews and assembly tips. Bad idea! Now I feel like the ONLY toad in the world who had a problem with this highchair. Here are some sample reviews:

“I was shocked when I first open the box and saw all the pieces but it was easy to assemble and so well worth it!!”

“Also i dont understand how people had a problem putting it together. I did it myself in 20 min and it was super simple.”

“Easy to assemble. I put the whole thing to together in about 45 minutes.”

“is easy to put together if if your not an idiot and you can read instructions.”

Alright, I QUIT!!!!!!

One response to “Idiots only”

  1. HAHAHA! We did the same thing over the weekend! Up until last month our air conditioner was entirely out of freon so running it only pumped the already hot air in the house through a hot furnace, and back again. It was akin to being in a giant convection oven without the cookies. This weekend the basement remodel took out the power to the furnace so I too was sweating profusely and giving my best attempt at high chair assembly. I’ll tell ya this, I’m never taking it apart until the last kid I pop out is done with it! 🙂

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