First Christmas

This Christmas season is very surreal for me, now that we have Skyler. We’re not getting anything for her since she won’t know the difference, but I can’t wait till she starts looking forward to Christmas! I already go through the toy sections at the store and dream about buying her gifts. My mom always asks my brothers and I to send a gift list of things we want, and it was really hard for me to put my own wants on there. I just wanted to get stuff for Skyler! My birthday was the same way.

This is gross but I was shaving my legs in the shower last night and I was shocked at how long my leg hairs had gotten. I was almost ashamed of myself for neglecting it for so long!! Granted, it’s winter, but the state of my leg hairs last night was unacceptable! I’ve always vowed to not become one of those moms that lives for their kids at the expense of themselves, and I’ve caught myself doing it! I even gave my feet some much needed attention last night. Yikes! I really need to shape up.

It’s just crazy how much she’s changed my life and I see things so differently now. I can’t believe that I never wanted kids. Oh what I would’ve missed out on! I’m in no hurry for another one, but sometimes I catch myself dreaming about the next baby. No, I do not look forward to being pregnant again yet. But it’s amazing how the memories of the discomforts fade and diminish in intensity. Now that I have the end result, I wonder if being pregnant the next time around would be more tolerable? I could see it being easier and harder, for the same reasons.

While I was pregnant with Skyler, I couldn’t imagine having another baby. I felt blessed enough to be able to learn to love just the one growing inside me. I didn’t know how I would someday split that love and share it between her and another child. But I’ve come to the reasoning that if and when another one were to come along, I wouldn’t have to share my love between that one and Skyler. I think I would just have twice as much love to give! With all the joy that Skyler has brought us, I get really excited thinking about the possibilty of doubling that someday! But, we will have patience. I want to enjoy my mobility for awhile longer, and Skyler’s got quite a few milestones that we want to reach before thinking about another little Oswald.


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