Blast from the past

I’ve been meaning to go back and look at my old babysite from time to time, on the same date last year, and see what my thoughts were, since I was still pregnant. I finally did that tonight, and I’m so glad I did! It was actually a pretty significant “turning point” in my pregnancy. August 13th’s post was called “change of plans.” August 13 was that strange morning when I woke up early (on the couch in our back lliving room – I remember it so clearly!) and could not go back to sleep, because of this persistent thought that I should try normal labor instead of opting for a C-section. I completely forgot that I went that much of my pregnancy preferring a C-section, especially after how everything turned out! I stuck to my instinct from that day forward, went through with it, and had the most joyous labor experience. [Besides the ridiculous pain I was in once the epidural wore off (luckily AFTER Skyler was born), and the remainder of the afternoon and evening that I spent in so much pain that I didn’t even want to hold her (gosh I cannot imagine that!) until I finally broke down in tears at 10:30 at night begging for something stronger than Tylenol 3!] Even my labor, while induced, was a calm experience, not too long at all, and the pushing was a lucky 25 minutes or so. It was hard, hard work, but exciting all at the same time. And so worth it! I can’t even describe how my life has changed from that moment on!

Not that having a C-section would have been any less exciting, it just would’ve been a different experience altogether. I’m so proud of myself for having that realization and giving my body the chance. And I’m proud of my body for being up to the task. There were a few hours during the early labor that the nurses wondered if my body wasn’t up for it and a C-section was in my near future, but luckily after the epidural was in, we were home free!

Then I read ahead to August 15th’s entry. I still think these thoughts on a regular basis, and am still so amazed with where we are today. It was the end of one chapter, and the beginning of a new one. All the things that have happened since then, the ups and downs, I had no idea back then! That new little chamber of my heart that started growing back in January ’07, is now the biggest part of my heart and keeps growing, exponentially as days go on. Funny, Skyler was diagnosed with an enlarged heart back in March, but I think it was definitely hereditary, because she has caused mine to grow so big that I feel it trying to burst out of my ribcage when I think of all the joy she brings me. But while she is growing into hers, I feel that mine will continue to outgrow me the older she gets, and I’ll never be able to catch back up with it!


2 responses to “Blast from the past”

  1. Lori, I’m so glad that you decided to go through with the labor and “normal” delivery versus a C-section. It took everything in me not to just scream at you to just DO IT because I KNEW you’d think it was worth it afterwards but you just can’t know that ahead of time.
    How cool to be able to look back at your thoughts during pregnancy. It makes me wish I would have documented my thoughts and feelings during that time.

  2. neat, i should go back and read in my journal.
    yep – your induction (and pushing) was waaayyy faster than mine!

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