We aren’t getting any closer to getting off the meds. We’re just getting farther away. They increased Skyler’s heart meds again around midnight last night. They also called for a new longer lasting pain medication to help control her comfort so maybe she could take less Morphine. We don’t want to have to battle Morphine withdrawals when that time comes, so hopefully this way we can phase that out. Her pressures are a little high again this morning so her nurse said we’d talk to the docs when they made their rounds to see if the meds need to change again. I know it’s the best for her right now, but when will we be able to start weaning her and work on getting out of here? It’s getting frustrating because it just feels like we’re going backwards.
The nurses have been much better last night and today. Our nurse today has barely left the room, and has been really watching Skyler’s vitals closely. She even takes her blood pressure more often than the cuff is set to run just to see if it’s going down or up. I forgot to to mention about our nurse yesterday that she never wrote down any of Sky’s vitals on her charts the entire day! They are supposed to do those charts every two hours so the docs can do a quick review of her vitals when they come around. Seriously, that’s about the most basic part of her job and she couldn’t even write that stuff down! So glad we’re done with her.
Skyler was a little more awake this morning than we’d seen her since surgery. Her eyes were not as glazed over and she seemed to focus on our faces a lot more. She even made some different eyebrow expressions. It was nice to see for a moment. I’m getting really worn down from all this. Even though we’re over the hump, everything is just wearing on me. I’ve been pretty emotional because I’m really starting to miss my daughter. Even though she’s physically only a few feet away from me, I haven’t seen the real Skyler for several days now. Actually weeks, really. I miss holding her and playing with her, and making her laugh. She has the best laugh. She’ll laugh so hard that she chokes on her own laugh and starts gurgling spit with the biggest grin on her face. It’s so adorable and I can’t wait to experience that again! I’m actually thinking about going home to get her big smile photo that Rebecca took and bringing it in a frame to set in our room here. It will be a reminder of what we have to look forward to. And I’d love for her nurses to actually see what a great smile she has. They have no idea since she’s usually crying when they mess with her!
Please continue to pray for Sky’s heart to heal. The more it heals, the sooner we can get her off her heart meds and move off this floor and ultimately back home.