(For the record, I am not a fan of the Jordan Sparks pop song that has a similar name to the title of this post.)
It seems like our home these days is one big warzone, between Skyler and me. And by these days, I guess realistically it’s only been the last two or three days, but it FEELS like so much sufferingly longer than that in my head!
The ol’ Terrible Twos are apparently crashing down on us hard right now, and I really hope it doesn’t last as long as she is going to be “two,” because if so, I might just ship her off to her grandma’s until September 11th next year, and at that point we’ll negotiate a new contract if her attitude is not up to my standards. Grandma’s is the only place she wants to be anyways, what with the all out tearful tantrum that takes place when I pick her from there on Monday’s. And though it’s not quite as dramatic, I get a similar display of love when I go to pick her up from daycare each day after work. As soon as she sees me she runs away, whining “No! Noooo! Noooooo!” You would think we beat and tortured her at home or something.
And all the little things, like putting her shoes and coat on in the morning, listening to music in the car, or changing a diaper – she resists me with full force, thrashing and screaming in opposition to whatever it is I need her to do or not do. Even the things that she is trying to do herself, if they don’t go smoothly, or she drops something, or has trouble with any of her coordination efforts or skill, she reacts so impatiently and violently, I wonder where this is coming from?
It is an incredibly trying and irritating way to start and end my day. And to be honest, right now, my work is my haven, which is the opposite of the way things should be. But it’s a place where I’m in control, things usually go well, I’m surrounded by generally sane and capable people, and I have the support I need when conflict arises. The complete opposite of my life with a two-year-old.
I know a few people who are expecting their first little ones over the next few months, and I am so excited for them. And I’m jealous. Those seem like the good ol’ days; the surreal life with a newborn baby that isn’t trying to sabotage your every effort to keep them safe, healthy, and happy. But don’t get any ideas. Jealousy of people with newborns has nothing to do with baby fever. Because adorable little babies eventually become TWO YEAR OLD MONSTERS. And who knows what they turn into after THAT?!?!
(Skyler – if you are reading this someday, do know that I love you dearly and wouldn’t change this life for a second if it meant you weren’t in it. But do know you are severely close to ruining any chance that I’ll help sneak you out of the house when you are sixteen and want to go on that first date but your mean daddy won’t let you out of his site. Be good to your mommy, I can be a great asset to you later if you don’t burn all the bridges by the time you’re THREE.)