It’s the key to a fulfilled life, and I’m not saying I have it figured out, but we’re on track to get it done. We’ve figured out what our priorities are, and we stick to them. And with that, there is a lot of crap that just doesn’t get done (like a pristine house). Maybe that’s okay. Maybe we are missing out on some things. I’m not sure, but we learn as we go.
Right now, this is how we make it work:
I blog less frequently. Sometimes it’s just because we have so much going on that I don’t have a bored moment to process and compose my thoughts. But also, it’s because I’d rather spend my blogging time hanging out with Skyler or having a much needed conversation with Ronnie. Or, just vegging out, not having to think. I think way too much when I write. I do think my overall higher level of happiness has lead to less frequent blogging, because I’m not trying to process my confusion and conflict so much. I’m just happy, and don’t feel the need to explain it.
Taking turns – We don’t have traditional family dinners every night. In a way, I wish we could. But it just isn’t feasible in our life, so why worry about that tradition and stress on it? During the week, Ronnie and I take turns with Skyler-time. I have her in the mornings and right after school. Once I head to his gym to get my workout and “me” time for the day, he takes her home and they have Daddy/Daughter time while finishing up dinner prep and eating together. I get home late, we have brief family time together, and then take turns again putting Skyler to bed. It’s our little family rhythm, and it works. Friday nights are typically “family date night” where the three of us make a big deal about going out together for dinner and sometimes dessert. It’s a much needed de-stress time at the end of the week where we can all relax and enjoy family time. It’s perfect for us.
Food preparation – I plan healthy meals for the week but we often take turns actually cooking them, or at least share the steps. I might prep some veggies and meat in order for him to come home and cook them, or put something in the oven so he can come home and take it out. It takes coordination and planning, but it means a lot less chaos in our lives and the time and energy to do more of the things we love when we’re working together.
Partnership – Ronnie and I are truly partners in our relationship and leadership of the family. We don’t always agree, but we always find a way to work together. We’ve figured out what we respect and admire about each other, especially our differences. I know when he is contemplating something, what I can offer that can counterbalance the knowledge and feelings he already had. And vice versa – we provide each other checks and balances in everything we do. We’re not opposites in everything, but enough things to round each other out, and enough in common to “get” each other most of the time. He is my partner in everything, life, love, parenting, business. We consult each other on every part, no matter how different we may think.
I dont’ know if these are really secrets, but sometimes I do wonder in our chaotic life how we make it work and stay so happy. All I can guess is those things are part of it. And we like to have fun and don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s not that hard really…