Earning It

Florida vacation is just around the corner. Twenty days to be exact. And while I’ve been looking forward to it for the last few months, I haven’t been able to really daydream about it lately and focus on the reality of it’s approach like I’ve done for many past vacations, mainly because work is super busy with some big projects that have me fully occupied. And I’m okay with that, as much as I love daydreaming about vacation, because at least this means time will fly and I’ll suddenly realize it’s time to pack that suitcase!

And the work stuff – I’ve had some vacations that came up during uneventful times at work, where I wondered if I really deserved the vacation. Work was going fine, and of course everyone deserves a vacation, but it didn’t really feel like I was taking a vacation away from something or that I needed to refresh my battery with some R&R. But this time – between the big projects peaking right before we take off, and the fact that it has just been a pretty challenging year for my team and I, I’ve EARNED it. I need it. I kinda wish I could send my whole team on vacay too (just to a different location.) I love my coworkers and am lucky to work with such great people that I can call friends, but it will be great to have a getaway with just Ronnie as we relax with other friends for some quality adult time, away from our jobs and parenting responsibilities.

And the parenting part – Skyler really is a mostly wonderful little person to be around, but when her nasty-switch flips, it is intense. She and I had our worst match ever tonight, where she was screaming at me for no reason – well, she was screaming at me because after she finished an entire apple as a snack 45 minutes before dinnertime I wouldn’t let her have another snack because she was HUNGRY but I said she just had to wait for dinner – I sent her to her room because she was screaming hysterically at me and wouldn’t calm down. I threatened spankings if she didn’t stop screaming at me, which she didn’t, so I had to be true to my word and give her butt a couple sharp smacks, which just made her scream angrier at me. More door slamming and screaming at her to STOP SCREAMING AT ME, and I finally made my way back to my room, the furthest in the house from her room to get away from the sound so I could take my frustration out on something other than her and hopefully the distance and walls would muffle the sound. It was a pretty solid fifteen minute match, that was emotionally exhausting. Luckily it was right before I was headed to the gym for a tough workout, so at least physically I was wound up and ready to channel that negative energy somewhere positive.

Sadly though, when she finally calmed and I sat to talk with her about what happened, I asked her if she understood why I was angry with her and sent her to her room. She shook her head yes and with a pathetic little heartbreaking voice answered me saying “because I was hungry.” PARENTING FAIL!

Florida can’t get here soon enough!

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